While composing this work, I was considering proposing
to the love of my life after 7 years together. Neither one of us had
much faith in marriage, but we both wanted to find a way to bear our
uncertainty about the future together.
I wanted my composition to
capture this acute sense of uncertainty, using music to express
something I could not articulate. I found a theme to capture the mixed
sensation of fear, joy, and self-doubt, and reiterated it with rhythmic,
tonal, and timbral diversity throughout the piece. The theme does not
have a natural conclusion, which expresses the uncertainty I felt in my
life when I composed it, but also my desire to keep the music moving
forward. I needed to find a conclusion, but did not know where it would
occur. As I became comfortable writing for the orchestra, and finding
unique sounds in all its corners, I found the ending I was looking for.
After months of writing, I titled the piece "Faith in a Future." A month later I proposed to my wife.
I continue find meaning in my composition's music and its title, especially today, with such uncertainty in the world.